YOUR HIGHNESS

YOUR HIGHNESS (2011)
US
Directed by David Gordon Green

CAST:
Danny McBride - Thadeous
James Franco - Fabious
Natalie Portman - Isabel

PLOT:
     When Prince Fabious's bride is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her... accompanied by his lazy useless brother Thadeous.

REVIEW:
     I'm all for comedies, and when you add in the mixture of a genre film it could be comedy gold if done right. Yet it could also turn out to be completely terrible as well. The thing about comedy is that it's person centric. What could be slightly amusing to one person, another person might find to be completely hilarious. Or it could be completely boring. And if what I read about Your Highness is true, that they ab-libbed most of the lines, this could be a complete train wreck of a movie or it could be a complete work of genius.

     Let's start with the main reason why this movie was released in the first place, Natalie Portman and James Franco. Since Portman won an Oscar and Franco got nominated for one, the studio thought that they could cash in on their success. I'm just going to say that, if this movie was released before the Oscars, I doubt Portman would have won and Franco more than likely wouldn't have hosted. After her brilliant turn in Black Swan, Portman slips back into her acting mode she used in a widely known sci-fi series. Thankfully though, she doesn't stay that way the whole movie as her ability does shine through every so often, just not enough though, and she should really not have used an accent for her character. And Franco's acting is just there. Even though he plays more of a stoner muscle head in the film, he overdoes it and it actually hurts his character. Granted he's not the best actor around, but I've seen him actually try before. What's it say when Danny McBride out acts both of the big stars by just acting like a stoner?

     This movie is more of a send up of medieval movie types than a straight up comedy as it pokes fun at the usual standards in those films and unlike parodies of recent years, Your Highness stays away from rewriting memorable scenes from those past movies and instead tries to write it's own story. It works in parts and in other parts it just falls flat. The beginning of the movie is just brilliant with McBrides character in the land of the Dwarves and about to be hang for seducing their King's wife. After that the story just meanders about for a while.  While some of the scenes stick out more than others, such as the  herb smoking pervert scene, gems like that make this movie, the film lags in other in other scenes such as when McBride and Franco spy on Portman bathing. I should mention that this movie is perverted, and everything is done to go along with that feel. It doesn't make the movie bad, it's just that some jokes just don't work like they should and the word fuck doesn't have to be used every other word either as it doesn't make the line funny to anyone over the age of 13.

     While comedy is subjective, not everyone will like this movie. There are so many dick jokes in it, it's hard not to believe this movie isn't from the 1980s as some of the humor is straight from the raunchy comedies of that time. It's not a bad movie, alas it's not a great movie either. What it is is fun. Even though I wasn't expecting to, I actually started having fun while watching this even with the grating fake accents the actors used and woefully underused supporting cast. I will give the movie praise for trying to be original in parts even though other scenes ruin what was built up. This is one of those movies you watch with friends and just have fun with and enjoy the complete absurd nature of it.

BEST DEATH:
      The decollating of the witch made one.

BEST LINE:
      You're making a fool of yourself. Handle your shit Fabious, please.

FUN FACTS:
     According to director David Gordon Green, the dialogue was entirely improvised with only a written outline by writer Ben Best and actor Danny McBride.

     The wrap party for the over 600-member cast and crew was held on-set at 'The Paint Shed' in the Titanic Quarter of the Belfast Harland & Wolff Shipyard on October 17, 2009. The party mirrored the medieval theme of the film, with a menu featuring venison and suckling pig.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (2011)
US/CA
Directed by Jason Eisener

CAST:
Rutger Hauer - Hobo
Brian Downey - Drake
Gregory Smith - Slick

PLOT:
     A homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun.

REVIEW:
     When I first heard about this movie and that Rutger Hauer would be playing a pissed off hobo I got a little excited by it. This is the man that played Roy Batty and Harley Stone. Even when a movie sucks, he does great in it, usually. So the real question is how does he fair in this?

     Rutger Hauer did not disappoint in this one bit. It could be because he hasn't aged well, but those lines in his face helped him sell worn out. As for delivering his lines, he does what he knows and that's to chew up scenery like no one else in this movie and  yet at the same time he keeps it subdued. Even when speaking lines that are just nonsense, he still gives them weight that more than likely wasn't there in the script. I was just left wondering what bet he lost to have to star in this though. Molly Dunsworth's portrayal of Abby was quite surprisingly well done as well. Even though she does the usual horror movie female bit, her character gets stronger as the movie goes along. Yet the family members in the movie over due their roles by leaps and bounds. If they had tried to tone what they say down and not be so twitchy on camera, they would have probably be the most terrifying family on screen since the Firefly family. Instead we get performances that makes the Cookie Monster look like Oscar material.

     Now let's talk plot, or lack there of. Yep there is none. I don't consider a nameless hobo buying a shotgun instead of the lawnmower he wants a major plot point.  The movie did bring up interesting ideas, in fact the movie is filled with them, it just that they go nowhere or are dropped as soon as they are introduced. While Hauer did his best with what was giving to him by way of the script, he could only go so far with it. Needless to say the script felt like it was written by two drunkards that just watched to many Troma movies in a row. One thing that bothered me was that as each scene kept building up the violence then the end just fell flat considering what all went on before. It should also be noted that the movie introduces two of the most bad-ass characters I've seen in movies in a long time but does nothing with them. Just the small bit they showed of The Plague, they stole the whole movie as you're left wondering who and what they are the whole time and what it meant as the one surviving Plague says the girl has to take the place of the one she destroyed. Why is this? Well scriptwriters John Davies and Jason Eisener, why is this? No answer? Figures.

     But lets be honest, most people won't see this movie for the plot. They'll see it mostly for the violence. And man will they get their fill. The best way to describe it is if Takashi Miike made a Troma movie and had a decent budget to go with it but with a shotty script. The violence is so over the top that it will turn off some people, but those said people probably won't even watch this movie. I'm not going to lie and say I liked this movie, in fact I could care less about it after watching it. The humor felt too juvenile as the script tried to hard to be funny and contemporary, the end of the movie let me down as it could have done something different and more brilliant, and there was no character development at all. I'm all for violent movies, but is it too much to ask for a decent plot and story progression to go with it. 

BEST DEATH:
      Even though it's not a death, it would have to be the shortening of a body part by a fast spinning blade.

BEST LINE:
     Put the knife away or I’ll use it to cut welfare checks from your skin!

FUN FACTS:
     The movie was initially a fake trailer made for an international contest to promote the release of Grindhouse and is the second of the fake trailers made into a feature length movie.

     Slick and Ivan drive a Bricklin; a Canadian made car from the mid 70s.

THE DEAD HOUR

THE DEAD HOUR (2010/2011)
US
Directed by Daniel Iske

PLOT:
     A rouge radio DJ tells tales over the air of stories that could have happened or is just possibly heresay.

REVIEW:
     The director Daniel Iske got hold of me in February about reviewing his short web series The Dead Hour. I feel bad about having it take so long for me to actually get to it, but I finally did. So, as this is a series of shorts, I'm going to be doing a quick review of each one separately. 

     DONOR-
  PLOT: In a time where banks are failing, homes are shuttered, and one-and-a-half out of ten people are unemployed, Seth discovers a way to maintain the lifestyle he and his wife have become accustomed to…but at a crippling cost.

     REVIEW:  Wow. What a depressing little story, but yet considering current times it's not that hard to imagine if something like this actually happening. This was a nice little piece of viciousness thanks to the wife who takes advantage of Seth's willingness to provide. Well acted for the most part. Alas, the doctor brought a sense of  comedy where it could have been so much darker and more evil considering what was going on.

     ALCOHOLIC VAMPIRE-
  PLOT: Vic Henderson considers himself a cursed man. He yearns to be free of addiction, but defeat drives him further into a world of deadly indulgence. When the twelve steps continue to fail, can anything bring peace to an addict?

     REVIEW: This one is probably my favorite of the 5 episodes. If any of these get the closest to the feel of HBO series Tales From The Crypt it would be this one. Vic is a vampire that has to drink to be able to kill, and hates himself for it. Even going as far as using A1 steak sauce (check when he opens the fridge, love it nice touch.) At first I wasn't sure about this one yet it pays off in the end with it's humor, though I could have done without the scream at the end. This was 18 minutes well spent.

     COUGAR-
  PLOT: Miss Juniper has just moved into the neighborhood, and she hasn't gone unnoticed by anyone — especially the local, hormone-strung high school boys. As she makes herself at home, the neighbors get a little closer than they expected.

     REVIEW: Michelle Schrage is the best part of this episode in a take on the werewolf genre and country's past obsession with cougars. If there was an episode that could have been more, it would have been this one as so much potential of the cougar's back story is there but never talked really talked about considering she has a trunk full of clothes from all the boys she seduced.  I think the one thing that turned me off of this episode is the insipid and juvenile blabbering of the teenage boys.

     THE HOLE-
  PLOT: After 40 years of working, Arthur Paxton is ready to retire. Or is he? While his wife, Betty, encourages him to relax, his mind refuses to listen. An unexplainable discovery breathes new ambition into Arthur's life, but leads him into a deep hole of unanswered questions.

     REVIEW: The Hole episode while it had a lot of potential and a great premise, I found myself getting rather bored about halfway through its 17 minute run. It was well acted and shot, I just think the pacing could have been better with it. I did like that it hinted that Arthur lost his mind he was so bored and started murdering to give him something to do though.

     CANNIBAL GIRLS-
  PLOT: In the barren fields of middle America, two young girls fight to stay alive following a near apocalyptic disaster. With much of the world's food supply eliminated, they have no choice but to feed on the flesh of other humans. What happens to the mind when living becomes the only thing to live for.

     REVIEW: This one deals with the loss of reality and the extent someone will go to survive. I like the fact that it's left up to the viewer if the second survivor was actually there or a figment of a fractured psyche. Only thing that bothered me in this is that it had the usual "girl fall down and can't get up so I should scream" scene. This one has a lot of potential to become more than what it is.

     All in all not a bad set of stories that was well done for being low budget with some interesting twist to some of the usual horror tropes.

BEST DEATH:
     Seth's death of life so where he can provide for his family.

BEST LINE:
     "Am I detecting a little bourbon here? Oh Harry, you've been a bad boy! I must say, it's going to make this a whole lot easier." From Alcoholic Vampire

FUN FACTS:
     To watch all five episodes, just follow the link: http://www.thedeadhour.com/

TROLLJEGEREN

TROLLJEGEREN (THE TROLL HUNTER) 2010
NO
Directed by Andre Ovredal

CAST:
Otto Jespersen - Trolljegeren/Hans
Glenn Erland Tosterud - Tomas
Tomas Alf Larsen - Kalle

PLOT:
     A group of students investigate a series of mysterious bear killings, but learns that there are much more dangerous things going on. They start to follow a mysterious hunter, learning that he is actually a troll hunter.

REVIEW:
     Trolljegeren was one of those films that I heard about last year that was playing at film festivals with Rare Exports and Black Death. All three were getting good write ups by reviewers and all three piqued my interest all for different reason. With Trolljegeren it was because it had monsters in it, and I'm a sucker for monster movies and have been for a long time. So did the movie quench my thirst for monsters?

      I got my fill of monsters with this one. And all are big. While I'm no expert on fairy tales and legends from Norway, this movie helps explain the basics of those legends and plausibly so with a modern day twist to them. Even the basics from nursery tales comes into play at points in the movie and usually in very funny ways (Three Billy Goats Gruff is easily recognizable, and to me is the best part in the whole movie). The digital effects are amazing to look at in most scenes when the trolls show up, even though at points the quality of those CG effects drops but not enough to truly take you out of the movie. You can always tell the trolls have weight and mass to them and can do massive damage. Even the sounds the trolls make are massive sounding and each of the four have different voices which helps them become their own entity. One thing I applaud director Andre Ovredal for is showing each and every troll full on and not just giving glimpses or teases of them.

     The acting I was quite pleased with as well due to each of the main actors are believable in their roles. Otto Jespersen though is easily the best actor though as he plays his character, Hans, with droll and a matter-of-fact attitude which helps his character seem more plausible as tired and couldn't give a damn, as not once in the movie does he crack a smile. The rest of the characters are well acted as well, but are outshined by Jespersen. The only actor that I really didn't like was Tomas Alf Larsen's Kalle. It could be because he was the one character that always complaining, but more than anything it was due to that his character seemed the least developed. At least Larsen's character you got to know before he offs this mortal coil, unlike Urmila Berg-Domaas' character who is brought in, giving about five lines then you don't hear from her again really until the end of the movie when she runs away screaming.

     Yet my biggest complaint about the movie is it's one of those found footage horror movies. With it this brings the usual staples of that type of movie, including shaking camera while running, odd shots of the ground and sky while other things are happening, and the slow down in story which seems to happen in every one of these movies, and a ending that wasn't really much of a ending. Thankfully though it is one of the better movies of its type, with tongue firmly in cheek and winking at the audience constantly. What would have made this movie amazing if they had filmed it as a narrative instead. Yet what we get is a well thought out film with amazing scenes in it that kept me interested and enjoying myself through the whole thing. If you can find a copy, watch it and enjoy.

BEST DEATH:
     Though not shown, the trolls' midnight snack of  Tomas Alf Larsen's Kalle.

BEST LINE:
      Folk tales don't quite correspond to reality.

FUN FACTS:
    At the end of the final credits, there is a notice in English, claiming that "No trolls were harmed during the making of this movie".

CONTEST OVER. WE HAVE A WINNER!!

The contest is over and Kevin S. of Florida is the winner. For those that are wondering what the 7 books by Sutter Cane were in the movie. They were:

The Hobb's End Horror

The Feeding

The Whisperer Of The Dark

In The Mouth Of Madness

The Thing In The Basement

Haunter Out Of Time

The Breathing Tunnel

 

Keep an eye out for the next contest.

Thank you again to all that read this blog!

MOUTH OF MADNESS CONTEST UPDATE

   To celebrate the blog hitting 1,000 hits I'm running a contest to win a Region 1 DVD NTSC copy of IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS. Before I get to the questions to win it. I have to put down the legal stuff to stay out of trouble. So here it goes.......
The contest is now international. All the world have fun.

Must be 18 years or older to enter. By entering you are digitally signing that you ARE 18 or older.

     Okay that boring stuff is over with.

     Now I'm not just going to give the DVD away, you have to answer one question, and the first Email I receive with the correct answers will win. The question is:

1. Name all 7 Sutter Cane novels in the movie In The Mouth Of Madness.

Send your email to:

mouthofmadnesscontest@gmail.com

Do not forget to put your real name, and your email address in the email so where I can get in contact with whoever wins so I can  get your shipping address. Your email and addresses will not be giving out to anyone.

Thank you all again reading my rants and raves about movies so far and hopefully I'll be doing this for a while.

Jason

SUCKER PUNCH

SUCKER PUNCH (2011)
US
Directed by Zack Snyder

CAST:
Emily Browning - Baby Doll
Abbie Cornish - Sweet Pea
Jena Malone - Rocket

PLOT:
     A young girl is institutionalized by her wicked stepfather. Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her and her friends escape from the facility.

REVIEW:
     I found out a day before I saw the movie, that the movie in theaters, is not the movie director Zack Snyder wanted to put out. The movie Snyder filmed had musical numbers in it that were axed out completely as well as other scenes, some small and others big, that had bits of information in it that was meant to help the story with some of the more questionable happenings in it. For a movie this hyper stylized you need to let the director put out the movie he wants to put out.  When a studio gets it's hands on a movie it doesn't understand you get movies like the theatrical versions of  Brazil and Superman II. Two good movies, that got so much better once the true version, the director's version of the film got out. So how do I explain this movie that I know now isn't the true version of it or review it fairly knowing this.

     This film is beautiful. I had to get that out of the way as that is the only way to describe this movie. This movie is so stylized that each scene has it's own vibe. Even though most of the scenes in the movie are heavy CG based, the movie doesn't suffer from it one bit. The action pieces in this movie are so fricking cool. From a dragon chasing a WW II aircraft bomber to a showdown with robots aboard a speeding train, each of these scenes are just fun. Yet the standout set piece was the second one set during WW I where you have trench warfare against steam and clockwerk resurrected German soldiers. I was in love with everything that was going on in these fantasy world settings dealing with retrieving  five objects to help the girls with their escape. 

     But the movie is flawed though thanks to its story structure. There are scenes that don't match up with the what was going on by the way of story. Also, the main character might not actually be the main character, but a figment of another girls imagination. Or it could be said that all the other female patients that accompany Baby Doll are just figments of her mind. I'm putting it this way cause at the end of the film when a person was explaining what has happened they left out a couple of deaths, but yet mentioned one that wasn't shown instead. The story has massive plot holes that need filling that were filled in by the cut dance sequences for each of the main actresses. The story does get really dark toward the end of the movie as you truly find out how twisted one of the characters are, and what length he'll go to keep control though.

     The movie itself is amazing to watch and get lost in visually. Just the first deep fantasy sequence is enough to sell me on the movie almost as it's like watching a live action anime, it's that amazing and cool that I got goosebumps.  Yet I know that the movie could have been so much more than what was there. Yet, there is that nagging in the back of my mind telling me that the original "hard R" rated cut of the movie is the real film and what we got was a easy to digest version that has more in it than what the studios thought but cut out the explanations of those scenes. If you stay and watch the ending credits (only JeNee and I stayed through to watch them) you get to see one of the musical numbers, from Blue, interspersed with scenes from the other cut musical sequences. I'm pretty sure Blue's musical number can be placed toward the end of the movie before the escape and it added so much to the character of Blue that it's a shame it was cut. Now the wait starts for me for the home release of it with the cut 35 plus minutes put back into the film with any luck that will actually make this movie whole and not the beautiful mess that it is right now.

BEST DEATH:
     The crushing death of the lead Nazi by a giant mech.

BEST LINE:
     To reach your own paradise. Just let go.

FUN FACTS:
     The name of the movie in different countries vary from Angel Wars in Japan to Mundo Surreal in Brazil and Portugal.

     The two banners beside Scott Glenn's character as shown in the trailer are a famous couplet from 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu: "Move swift as the Wind and closely-formed as the Wood. Attack like the Fire and be still as the Mountain." This was later made into a famous battle standard by the Japanese warlord Takeda Shingen.

     The main girls in the film were told to deadlift up to 210 pounds (95 kg) for their roles. For this Damon Caro, who worked on Snyder's 300 and Watchmen and the Bourne film series, was brought in for training, fight choreography, and stunts.