HEMOGLOBIN

 HEMOGLOBIN (BLEEDERS) (1997)
CA/ US
Directed by Peter Svatek

CAST:
Roy Dupius - John Strauss
Kristin Lehman - Kathleen Strauss
Rutger Hauer - Dr. Marlowe

PLOT:
     A man travels to an island with his wife in search of his relatives, but what he finds may be more than what he wanted to know.

REVIEW:
     I first heard about this movie when I worked at Blockbuster, when there were actual physical Blockbuster stores at that, and I was giving a screener copy of the movie. To tell the truth, I brought the copy home and threw it in a pile of VHS tapes I got for free and pretty much was never gonna watch. In fact, I never did watch half of those movies in that pile. I kinda wish I did keep the Bleeders screener though, as it had a special box with a blood pack over the front box cover. Well, it was supposed to look like blood, instead it looked like cherry kool-aide. I'm now kinda wishing I kept that VHS tape.

     I just have to start with the cast. I was wonderfully surprised by everyone in the movie and the job they managed to pull off. Rutger Hauer gives his usual fine performance, this time as Dr. Marlowe. He could have easily hammed it up and still would have done great in his role, yet instead he plays his character more downtrodden as if there really is a secret he has to hide and that the story he tells about his past is only a half-truth. I swear, the man can play a rock and he would still be great. As for the main character in the movie John Strauss, played by Roy Dupius, I wasn't to happy with him for most of the movie. Yes, he's supposed to be someone who is slowly dying, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have a personality. Thankfully his personality does come out about halfway through the movie when he goes to his ancestral home for the first time since he was a baby.

     One thing I'm still trying to figure out more than anything else is Dan O'Bannon, who wrote the story for Hemoglobin. The man has written some of my favorite horror movies, and with this one he does amazing again. He purposefully slows the pace of the movie down where we have time to meet the characters and know them and their true motivations. This might turn off some people due to that they'll think it's dull and boring, yet it's set up just like a Lovecraft story is. The true danger grows as the story goes on as more of the John Strauss's history comes to light. Another thing that got me about the movie is the subject matter. In most recent movies that deal with inbreeding and incest, the results are always bad, and well, it's the same here. The difference is that the "Family" was content to stay hidden and eat on the bodies laid to rest in the ground. It's when said laid to rest bodies have to be relocated is when the "Family " comes out in search for food since the original food source has been taken away. Well the deformities are pretty bad in itself but it's one of the extra's that caught me off guard. I won't give away what it is, but you'll know it. Yet out of all this, it's what what happens at the end in the tunnels that made me really like this movie, and the sacrifice that Strauss makes to end the killings that made me have empathy for the mutants and felt sad for Strauss himself.

     Even though it seems like I love this movie, it does have some major problems. First and foremost is the video quality it was filmed with. Their is a grain that can only come from shooting on substandard cameras at the time, that will always be there no matter how much cleaning of the filmstock is done. Another major problem I had is one spoken line of dialogue toward the end of the movie which just kills all the tension that was built up until then. You'll know it when it is spoken. The only other complaint is that some of the creature effects just look horrendous, while others look amazing. I think it might be how those scenes were shot that affect the outcome in this area. Yet even with all that is wrong with the movie, I still wound up really liking it more and more as it went on. From the isolated scenery of the island it was filmed on to the more fantastical aspects of the story itself, I can easily say this movie has the whole feel of a Lovecraft story which is what I want in a movie inspired by him.  


BEST DEATH:
     Not really the best death, but after uttering the worst line in the movie and almost ruining the whole movie for me, this one goes to Leni Parker's characters death!

BEST LINE:
     Who says I'm a good doctor?


FUN FACTS:
     Based on the H. P. Lovecraft story The Lurking Fear.

     Factual errors: In the prologue, the "King of Holland" is mentioned in relation to the year 1652. Holland was part of the Dutch Republic from 1581 through 1795, and had no king.

     The Greek print of the movie runs five minutes longer than the American version.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (2011)
US/CA
Directed by Jason Eisener

CAST:
Rutger Hauer - Hobo
Brian Downey - Drake
Gregory Smith - Slick

PLOT:
     A homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun.

REVIEW:
     When I first heard about this movie and that Rutger Hauer would be playing a pissed off hobo I got a little excited by it. This is the man that played Roy Batty and Harley Stone. Even when a movie sucks, he does great in it, usually. So the real question is how does he fair in this?

     Rutger Hauer did not disappoint in this one bit. It could be because he hasn't aged well, but those lines in his face helped him sell worn out. As for delivering his lines, he does what he knows and that's to chew up scenery like no one else in this movie and  yet at the same time he keeps it subdued. Even when speaking lines that are just nonsense, he still gives them weight that more than likely wasn't there in the script. I was just left wondering what bet he lost to have to star in this though. Molly Dunsworth's portrayal of Abby was quite surprisingly well done as well. Even though she does the usual horror movie female bit, her character gets stronger as the movie goes along. Yet the family members in the movie over due their roles by leaps and bounds. If they had tried to tone what they say down and not be so twitchy on camera, they would have probably be the most terrifying family on screen since the Firefly family. Instead we get performances that makes the Cookie Monster look like Oscar material.

     Now let's talk plot, or lack there of. Yep there is none. I don't consider a nameless hobo buying a shotgun instead of the lawnmower he wants a major plot point.  The movie did bring up interesting ideas, in fact the movie is filled with them, it just that they go nowhere or are dropped as soon as they are introduced. While Hauer did his best with what was giving to him by way of the script, he could only go so far with it. Needless to say the script felt like it was written by two drunkards that just watched to many Troma movies in a row. One thing that bothered me was that as each scene kept building up the violence then the end just fell flat considering what all went on before. It should also be noted that the movie introduces two of the most bad-ass characters I've seen in movies in a long time but does nothing with them. Just the small bit they showed of The Plague, they stole the whole movie as you're left wondering who and what they are the whole time and what it meant as the one surviving Plague says the girl has to take the place of the one she destroyed. Why is this? Well scriptwriters John Davies and Jason Eisener, why is this? No answer? Figures.

     But lets be honest, most people won't see this movie for the plot. They'll see it mostly for the violence. And man will they get their fill. The best way to describe it is if Takashi Miike made a Troma movie and had a decent budget to go with it but with a shotty script. The violence is so over the top that it will turn off some people, but those said people probably won't even watch this movie. I'm not going to lie and say I liked this movie, in fact I could care less about it after watching it. The humor felt too juvenile as the script tried to hard to be funny and contemporary, the end of the movie let me down as it could have done something different and more brilliant, and there was no character development at all. I'm all for violent movies, but is it too much to ask for a decent plot and story progression to go with it. 

BEST DEATH:
      Even though it's not a death, it would have to be the shortening of a body part by a fast spinning blade.

BEST LINE:
     Put the knife away or I’ll use it to cut welfare checks from your skin!

FUN FACTS:
     The movie was initially a fake trailer made for an international contest to promote the release of Grindhouse and is the second of the fake trailers made into a feature length movie.

     Slick and Ivan drive a Bricklin; a Canadian made car from the mid 70s.

SPLIT SECOND

SPLIT SECOND (1992)
UK
Directed by Tony Maylam

CAST:
Rutger Hauer - Harley Stone
Kim Cattrall - Michelle
Alastair Duncan - Dick Durkin

PLOT:
     In a futuristic London, the rising sea levels mean that large areas are under feet of water. Hauer plays a cop who previously lost his partner to some strange creature. Now the creature is back.
 
REVIEW:
     There's something to be said about "B" movies. Most of the time they're throw away stories, thrown to beginning or toward the end of their career directors. Then there are some that love the stories and the absurdity of the story and run with and make the movie more than what it looked like. Some good "B" movies are Star Wars (original trilogy) and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Then there are bad "B" movies such as Ice Pirates and Krull, that even though they are bad, they still have a special place in peoples hearts. Thankfully Split Second is of the former category. Now I'm not saying that Split Second is going to win any awards. In fact it didn't, it just kind of came and went when it was released, not even making back it's estimated budget of $7 million. And it's a damn shame also. The movie isn't Shakespeare and it doesn't try to be, but it also doesn't try to be stupid either which helps the movie.

     I should go ahead and say that Rutger Hauer's Stone is a asshole straight out, and the movie doesn't try to hide that fact one bit. Stone though is a lovable asshole. Every person knows someone like this, where that person can just get on your nerves but has a certain charm to them. Stone is that. I'll give credit to Hauer for making his character this way due to the fact that he sells it completely and doesn't try to hide it and Stone is more of a believable character for that. Even when he get's freaked halfway through the movie after looking at a little girl, he doesn't oversell it like some actors would. Besides, you have to love a character that calls a dog a dickhead and talks to it like it's a suspect. Even during those times he doesn't go overboard by looking like he's nuts, just someone that has seen to much, and doesn't care what other people think of him. All of this is due to Hauer's restrained performance which, as usual, is amazing to watch. Alistair Duncan is also fun to watch in this film as Dick Durkin, but more toward the middle to the end than at the start of the film. At the beginning of the movie Durkin is a not quite a new recruit, uptight worried about reports, and frankly, just a bore. That changes halfway through thankfully when Durkin gets a look at the creature in the movie. Let's just say there are some pretty fun moments due to this and to me he also gets the best lines in the movie. Duncan just cuts loose with the character and you can tell he's having fun with it and the movie doesn't suffer for it either, in fact it makes the movie more fun.

     Now the look of the film isn't nothing to write home about, but it's believable and that helps the movie. London is supposed to be flooding due to rising water from global warming and smog is everywhere and the settings look it. Everything just feels run down and dirty yet nothing seems out of place. From the Stone's apartment to the sewers at the end of the movie, everything is believable in this world which in turn makes the whole world feel more realistic. Maylam doesn't try anything weird in the movie, he does what can be called on adequate job as there is nothing flashy or showy in his directing style. In fact during some of the action scenes some of the action gets lost due to this and confusing, such as the shootout in the apartment. I should note that Ian Sharp directed the final sequences in the movie though in the sewer when the action is a little more easy to keep track of thankfully. My one real gripe is that at the end of the movie you see water bubbling in the sewer and the shot stays on it just a tad too long. Same when Hauer is holding the heart in his hand. We get the picture, they studio was hoping to get a sequel out of this movie. The creature effects in the movie are decent as well, not amazing though, as it looks like a cross between an Alien and a Predator almost, but the director knows how to hide this by making sure the creature pretty much stays obscured or in the shadows most of the movie.

     Even though Split Second has it's flaws, it's still a fun and enjoyable movie that doesn't try to be more than what it is, it just tries to do it the best it can. It does this by the actors in the movie more than anything and a good story and script that doesn't try to explain everything and lets the audience decide what the creature is for their self, while also not being completely stupid and idiotic at the same time.  I'll go ahead and say that it's a shame that the movie didn't get more love when it came out as it's pure fun. Hell, even Kim Cattrall does a decent job in the movie. So if you can find a copy of this movie, or can borrow it from a friend, try to make some time to watch it. You'll have fun and even laugh a little also.

BEST DEATH:
     The creatures.

BEST LINE:
     Did you see him?
     That wasnae a him, that was a fucking it! We need to get bigger guns. BIG FUCKING GUNS!

FUN FACTS:
      Kim Cattrall still had her haircut from filming Star Trek VI while filming Split Second.